placemarker

As I sleeplessly write this I have been reflecting on past posts.
I read about how low and dissolute my life was; and I begin to think is.
I wonder if it's God's way of keeping me in check. Making sure that I don't have or think beyond my means, beyond what I am supposed to have or be.
I think God wants me to drown. Maybe not completely but a little, and no matter the amount it's still scary with your head under water. The cold water filling your chest like death's butterfly opening it's wings. Hot and cold, in and out.